The journey of gender affirmation is a profound and emotional experience for many families. Parents in particular often face the challenge of processing their own fears and worries while wanting to support their child.

A Mother's Journey to Acceptance

Recently, I had the privilege of accompanying a mother who was tormented by internal conflicts and uncertainties. Her daughter had decided to embark on the path of transition. Although the mother supported her child with immense love, fear still gripped her: "I'm so afraid that she won't be the same person anymore. What if I no longer recognize her someday? It feels like I'm losing my child."

These feelings are understandable. They arise from the deep connection between parent and child and the uncertainty of what the future holds. But precisely in such moments, it is important to reflect on what truly matters: the unchanging values and the essence of a person.

A New Perspective with the "Kompetenzenherz" (Competency Heart)

To help her re-evaluate her fears, we used LiLea's "Kompetenzenherz" – a therapeutic tool that playfully yet profoundly reveals emotions and values. Before her lay a wooden heart with indentations for 14 value coins, symbolizing various qualities such as empathy, assertiveness, creativity, and humor.

The mother was tasked with creating a heart for her daughter – a heart that represented her child's most important qualities. She chose a total of 15 value coins, a sign of how much she admired her child and how positively she perceived her. Finally, she reduced the selection to the final ten coins.
👉 Then I asked her a crucial question: "Do you think any of these qualities will change with the transition?"

She paused, looked at the heart before her and the values she had lovingly chosen. After a moment of reflection, tears came to her eyes. "No," she finally whispered, "none of this will change. These values are who she is." ❤️

The Emotional Turning Point

In that moment, she realized that despite outward changes, her daughter would remain the same wonderful person. Her fears of "losing" her child dissolved, and a wave of relief washed over her. The realization that values and character traits are what truly make a person allowed her to look to the future with new confidence and love.

"My daughter remains the same person – full of love, strength, and her unique personality. That will never change."

This realization was the turning point in her emotional process. She was able to let go of her fears and instead open up the space to see and support her child in all her authenticity.

The Importance of Therapeutic Support

Especially in sensitive phases like a child's transition, a tool like the "Kompetenzenherz" can be valuable support for parents and therapists. It allows for deeper reflection on what truly matters and helps to replace fears with insight and acceptance. For therapists, the "Kompetenzenherz" offers an effective way to visualize emotional processes and achieve profound therapeutic results more quickly – so that children and their families can be helped even more effectively.

💡 Conclusion: Values Remain – as Does Unconditional Love 

This story shows that the true essence of a person lies in their values and personality. External changes have no influence on what makes a child who they are. Parents can learn to accompany with open arms, to trust, and to recognize that love and acceptance create the strongest bonds – regardless of external changes.

The "Kompetenzenherz" can be valuable support in this process – for both parents and therapists – to navigate this path with more clarity and confidence.

➡️ Would you like to learn more about the "Kompetenzenherz"? Here's where to find the game: Therapy Tool - Board Game "Kompetenzenherz"