• Competence heart made of high-quality natural wood with 13 circular cut-outs
• 32 laser-cut competence coins with terms from three categories:
  • Personal Competencies
  • Social Competencies
  • Leadership Competencies

The following terms are on the coins: Resilience, Co-regulation, Assertiveness, Self-responsibility, Resourcefulness, Empathy, Emotional Intelligence, Risk Assessment, Justice & Fairness, Ability to Act, Helpfulness, Communication Skills, Willingness to Compromise, Conflict Resolution Skills, Creativity, Ability to Criticize, Motivation, Organizational Skills, Self-assertion, Self-confidence, Self-discipline, Self-reflection, Self-regulation, Independence, Self-reliance, Teamwork Skills, Tolerance, Persuasiveness, Adaptability, Role Model Function, Time Management, Reliability

• Therapeutic/psychological/clinical settings
• Trauma-informed settings
• Families/marriages/relationships
• Professional fields/teams
• Residential groups, day groups
• School social work
• Special education/curative education
• and much more

In a counseling setting, we are supporting a mother whose daughter is currently undergoing gender affirmation. The mother appears internally conflicted: she speaks of feeling like she is "losing her daughter," even as she strives to understand and accept her daughter's path.

To facilitate an emotional connection, we use the Competency Heart. We invite the mother to create a heart for her daughter, asking the question:

"What competencies and strengths do I see in my daughter?"

Carefully, she begins to choose individual coins: Empathy, Creativity, Perseverance, Sense of Justice, Courage. As she places the terms into the heart, her demeanor noticeably changes. She no longer focuses solely on what is changing, but on what remains.

Then we ask the probing question:

"Which of these abilities and competencies would disappear if your daughter's gender were to disappear?"

The mother falls silent. Tears well up in her eyes. She says nothing – but at that moment, it becomes clear that something within her is resolving. She realizes: Gender does not change the core of a person.

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